Author: Chanta

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Finding Life After Death (Pt.2)

A couple of months before our 2nd grandson was born, we received a frantic call from our son’s girlfriend. Someone called her and said our son was so high and out of it that he was standing on the balcony of the 3rd floor of a hotel in his underwear. They were able to get him down before he jumped. She and her friend picked him up and drove him to our house which was about an hour away. When he woke the next morning, he had no recollection of the previous night. He didn’t know he was home and was trying to figure out just how he had gotten there. This child has such a calling on his life that is so strong that God has delivered him from 3 near death experiences.

Someone may ask, well, why don’t you try rehab? We have. He walked away each time. But, I can tell you this, he is definitely covered in prayer. God keeps showing all of us, especially him, that He has him covered.

One evening, our middle child called. He was explaining to me that he had gotten pulled over by the police in a small town. The officer found some weed in his car, which he says was a friend’s whom he had let borrow his car the day before. While he was explaining the trouble he was in, another call was buzzing on my line. It was our youngest son. He and his girlfriend had gotten pulled over for a tail light. When they ran his license, he had a warrant for unpaid fines. The officer was arresting him. I hung up feeling so mentally exhausted. All I could do was ask God for help. You know what? He heard my cry. He delivered both boys from those situations.

My life has truly been a rollercoaster ride. Of course I hoped my life would be different at this stage. I thought I would be enjoying my husband more. I thought we would finally have a chance to travel, explore, be adventurous, and just enjoy being together.

I have been on the search for happiness and peace for a long time. The definition of happy is feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. By that definition, I can honestly say that I have been the complete opposite. Just going through the motions. Praying for peace and happiness to fall upon me.

My happiness has been interrupted for far too long. I have been allowing the devil to win while I sit along the sidelines and watch. I’m tired of my family being the underdogs. It’s time for a new play.

Put me in coach………..

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Finding Life After Death (Pt. 1)

Since the moment my dad took his last breath, I’ve been trying to maintain mine. Life got harder. My boys became more distant. They turned to other ways to cope. But, they never turned to me. Seeing them suffer just killed me even more.

Some days it was so difficult to get out of bed. Who knew that breathing would be so hard. Since his death I’ve had three jobs, gained all the weight I had lost before his death back, and all three boys have an arrest record. My happiness and my faith were both shaken.

One thing I can say my boys did take after me was a “chosen silence”. I’ve never found comfort in confiding to others. Not even to the ones who love me most. I have all these negative layers on me, it would probably take a lifetime to uncover. So, instead of opening up, I shut down and bury it even deeper. But everything has a pressure point. That point where you reach your max before you finally explode.

Well, one day right before I was about to lead some eighth graders into yoga, my body started shutting down on me. My heart was racing, vision blurred, breathing increased, and my pressure raised. The nurse at the school took my pressure, called my doctor, and then called my boss. I was on the verge of having a heart attack or a stroke. For the next three months I had test ran on my heart, made to give up exercise, and had to take 2 medications to keep me from having a heart attack. The outer walls of my heart have been permanently damaged.

My doctor told me that I needed to relax and stop worrying about my boys. Then I overheard him tell my husband that I was “depressed”. Since then, I’ve been trying to find my life after death……..

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Interruption of Happiness

January 12, 2014 changed my world. Prior to this day, I was feeling happy, free and excited about the future. Our oldest son was working, middle son finishing up his last few months of high school and making plans for graduation. Our youngest was going to be a senior the following year. We had just celebrated our grandson’s 1st Christmas. I completed an insurance class and was preparing for my exam.

Two days before I had taken my dad to the doctor and they immediately sent him to the hospital. They admitted him and began trying to drain the fluid that was built up around his heart. The first day, not much was drained and he was still having a hard time breathing. So, before going to the hospital the following day, I decided to go for a run. It was the hospital’s track so I figured once I was done I would just go up to his room.

Well, the prognosis wasn’t good. A lot of the fluid hadn’t drained during the night. They were putting him in an induced coma so they could drain more fluid. As they were rolling him down the hallway, my dad gave my boys a thumbs up to let them know he was okay. But, he wasn’t. We never got to speak to him again. Shortly after, he was gone. I will never forget the looks on everyone’s faces as they received the news.

On January 12, 2014, my dad took his last breath. Sometimes it feels like I did too…………….

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New Journey

Hello 2019! I’ve decided to step out of my comfort zone and try new things this year. One was to start a blog. Maybe this will open the doors for new adventures in my life.

This world isn’t getting any better. That doesn’t mean that I can’t. We can’t expect the world or people to change if we are not willing to ourselves. I am so tired of feeling depressed, defeated, and weary. The enemy is not going to stop his attacks, and neither will God stop His protection. It’s time to start enjoying this life that Christ died for.

So, this is the beginning of a new journey for me. As I experience life, I’ve decided to start journaling my experiences on-line. So, here I go……………….